What should you do?
"Lay back. Play it cool, bro. Don't act so desperate."
"Just follow your heart! Be yourself! Be confident!"
"Don't be a douchebag. Listen to her and be sensitive to her needs."
"Neg her! Use social proof. Demonstrate higher value."
Relationship advice is so confusing and contradictory, depending on who you ask. Nobody can give you a straight fucking answer. No wonder you're on prescription meds and have chronic insecurity. No wonder you're obsessed with looking like Captain America. No wonder you're ruled by how you feel; you were raised by women to think and behave like women. You're a scared little girl lost in the woods. You're just like this pathetic faggot below, deluding yourself into thinking you know how to socialize:
Let's be honest here. You dread talking to girls. You can't stand going to bars and clubs to get wasted just to talk to some cunt who may or may not give you her number just so she can flake on you the next day.
You couldn't give 2 fucks about this world...
Like most guys, you feel stuck in a never-ending downward shit spiral of anxiety and apathy... We know how you feel because we're stuck in the same social sewer as you...
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Self-help gurus only teach you how to fake 'cool' behavior; they'll change the way you dress and get you to memorize funny stories. But inside, you're still the same insecure, neurotic faggot. Only now you're better at hiding it.
We're going to save you a lot of time, money, heartache, and masturbation. Our job isn't done until you have the ability to form relationships with everyone you meet. We're not just here to give you a handjob or a few social tips. Our goal is to get you bros and hos!
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I know what you're thinking. Your buddies Mystery & Style are gonna save you with their magical pickup artist game.
ARE YOU FUCKING HIGH???
Here's your bullshit superheros in REAL LIFE:
And here's the rest of their buddies in action:
Do we even need to mention how shitty "life coaches" like Oprah Winfrey and Steve Harvey are?
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